It’s an "about me" section so I guess I could tell you about myself and how I have brown eyes and black hair and how I’m just another college student living in a big big world that, at times, feels so small. I guess I could tell you how I’m super Indian and how I love beautiful things, whether it’s the very first lyrics in a song or the way the corners of your mouth go up a little when you smile. I guess I could tell you my dreams, how I hope to be filthy rich one day and travel the world because there’s simply so much to see and so much I want to do. I guess I could tell you how I have an immense passion towards words and the way we use them and that is the main force that drives me when running this blog. I guess I could tell you about my personal life and about what makes me want to get out of bed in the morning and what allows me to cry in the shower where my tears can’t be seen. I guess I could tell you a lot of things, but then I wouldn’t know where to start. I live a simple life. It just requires a lot of thought. Join me as I attempt to figure it out.
And I wanted to erase everything on Earth that reminded me of you. Your scent, your smile, your touch. I didn’t want any of it. Not in my memories, not in my thoughts, not in my head. I wanted to delete every photo we had taken together, every gift you had ever given me, and every song that made me think of you. I wanted you to not exist.
But you did. And you do. And there’s nothing really I can do about that. Because you were a part of me and for some reason that part is still there.
“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller
We say to girls – you can have ambition, but not too much
You should aim to be successful but not too successful otherwise you will threaten the man
Because I am female I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important
A marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support
But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or for accomplishments,which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are
Feminist: A person who believes in the economic, social and political equality of the sexes.”
-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Adichie’s words are featured in Track 11, "Flawless," of Beyonce’s new album.
In the past week, I’ve heard my father say, “Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un” three times. Three phone calls. Three deaths. None of the people were people I had met or remembered, but still.
"Surely we belong to God and to Him shall we return."
"All of Me" - John Legend
"You’re my end and my beginning, even when I lose I’m winning…"
It’ll be 10, maybe 15, years from now and you’ll be sitting by yourself one day in a coffee shop or on your favorite part of the couch in your home and somehow your mind will come to the thought of me.
Something will remind you of me, whether it’s a similar face or an ambiance around you that we once spent together. And then you’ll think of me, hopefully with a smile on your face and a daze in your eyes, and you’ll remember our time together.
Maybe you’ll ask yourself, “Was it worth it?” or “Was it worth it giving that up?”
And selfishly enough, a part of me will want you to say no, that it wasn’t worth it and that you never should have left. And then there’s that other part in me, the part you once loved, that will want you to say yes.
"Yes, it was worth it."
"Yes, I needed to have left."
"Yes, it mattered."