February 2012
35 posts
3 tags
musings
If you have an old car, you don’t care about where you’re parking or how you’re parking. If you hit something, you don’t care much for another minor dent. For a new car, everything changes. You act more careful and pay attention to each little scratch. The same thing happens with our souls. If we were spotless, we would fret over every little mark. But by this time, our...
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“What About Love” - Heart
“What...
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how strange it is
One day he came in and wasn’t able to talk. He came to our usual table and said he had a meeting. He didn’t even get any coffee, he didn’t have time. He came in just for me.
It was sweet, but it left me questioning what this meeting was for. After all our conversations, I realized that I had never even known his profession, nor did he know mine. How strange it is, to call...
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“I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don’t know why, some people fill the...”
– Anaïs Nin
At the end of the day, it was a story about trust. And love. And if anything, those were the things worth fighting for.
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Everything →
You’re a falling star, you’re the get away car. You’re the line in the sand when I go too far. You’re the swimming pool, on an August day. And you’re the perfect thing to say. And you play it coy but it’s kinda cute. Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do. Baby don’t pretend that you don’t know it’s true. ‘cause you can see...
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i feel the cold, loneliness unfold
it was colder tonight
something wasn’t quite right
we didn’t laugh as loud
we didn’t smile as much
and nothing happened when we’d touch
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“When I look into your eyes, one word leaps to my mind every time: Forever.”
– Lara Adrian
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an excerpt
“What are we doing to each other? Because I know that I am doing to him exactly what he is doing to me. We are sometimes so happy, and never in our lives have we known more unhappiness. It’s as if we were working together on the same statue, cutting it out of each other’s misery. But I don’t even know the design.”
-The End of The Affair by Graham Greene
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letters to crushes
She knows exactly what to say and when to say it. She is so beautiful that I envy her sometimes, I also envy her determination, the way she can keep smiling even though her world is falling apart. People always say I’m her exact opposite, and even though they are talking about our looks they are more right than they know. I’ll probably run away after school, see the world and do...
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...wait
“You always say that!” I nearly yelled. “I don’t understand. You always say this but it never makes any sense to me. How was she your ‘everything’?”
He laughed and shook his head. He leaned forward.
“You’ve never been in love, have you?”
“Nope.”
“Wait for it. Because then, you’ll know.”
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“Smash Into You” - Beyoncé (live)
...
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everything
“She really was everything to me. I didn’t need anyone or anyone else. She was my family, she was all of my friends, she was my god. She was the one I took my anger out on and the one with whom I shared all my joy. I gave her all of myself and never held back. She knew everything. She knew my past, my present, and our future. And even then, she still loved me.”
He smiled and our...
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whispers
Streetlights crowd the summer night
I walk alone, not a soul in sight
Hot tears fall, for reasons I wish I knew
I must have wanted for you to love me too
But when you smile for me, the world seems all right.
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mirror mirror on the wall
And in that moment, she hated herself once again. It had always been a love-hate relationship; there were times when she was extremely pleased and dare I say, proud of herself. And then there were times when she was content with life and all was normal even though the self-loathing still tried to appear like a rainy day under a leaky roof. And then there were moments like this of absolute...
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“To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is...”
– Katherine Paterson
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me
Painkillers, tears, and a lack of sleep,
everything inside me has become so weak.
In my mind, I question what made me fall so deep
In my heart, I question what’s making me scream
I cry in pain when no one can hear
I wither away as I lose everything I once held so dear.
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Wake Me Up →
Wake me up when it’s over, wake me up when it’s done, when he’s gone away and taken everything, wake me up. Wake me up when the skies are clearing, when the water is still, ‘cause I will not watch the ships sail away so, please say you will. If it were any other day, this wouldn’t get the best of me. But today I’m not so strong, so lay me down with a sad song,...
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the passing
Months passed by and we had started to talk about other things. The trees became bare, shedding their deceased leaves just as we began to discuss new topics. But even then, I knew she had to be on his mind. And that’s when I asked, “Do you miss her?”
He answered without smiling. “Of course I do. I miss her everyday. I still think of her all the time. But even with all this...
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today
They say if you’re going to love, then do it all the way. So I did. I loved her with everything inside me and I loved everything inside of her. I forgot that it was wrong and that it was not best for the both of us and I loved. You can’t control who you fall in love with. And you can’t blame me for continuing to fall. All I did was love.
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“After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining...”
– Anonymous
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dark
He did it again. He fell into that pool headfirst, not knowing if he would ever come out. He was like a fish, constantly lured in by the bait, knowing that it would cause him harm. But he would not stop. The pain pierced him, but that dark taste of momentary sweetness brought him back in, just as it did to me.
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January 2012
42 posts
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what if?
I guess we could go around in circles questioning the “what if.” What if this hadn’t happened, what if I told you all my truths. What if I didn’t stay here or what if you didn’t do that. What if I stopped pulling and what if someone else had pushed you away. All the what ifs swirl around my head but then I make it stop by telling myself that what’s done is done....
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“It is not our abilities that show who we truly are, it is our choices.”
– Albus Dumbledore
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an excerpt
“And then ‘You?’ She had always called me ‘you’. ‘Is that you?’ on the telephone, ‘Can you? Will you? Do you?’ so that I imagined, like a fool, for a few minutes at a time, there was only one ‘you’ in the world and that was me.”
-The End of The Affair by Graham Greene
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“Keep Me In Mind” - Zac Brown Band
...
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Anonymous asked: How can make my self happy
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lessons of today
Sometimes love isn’t enough. It can be the greatest love, a beautiful love, a perfect love, yet even then, things don’t have to work out. Life comes in the way and tears everything apart. They say that love is everything. But even love can’t stop life from happening.
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pretend, pretend
My eyes tell me to close but my mind continues to think. My heart tries to speak, only to get lost in all the whispers. We run, we hide, we’re all fearing the same thing. I laugh, I smile, acting as if it will be okay. Glass shatters, screams echo, and then there’s silence in our ears. I ask myself, “What’s the purpose?” but then I see your smile and pretend to forget, once again.
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“People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed...”
– Audrey Hepburn
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an excerpt
“I’ll tell you, that’s one thing I hate about my nickname, the way that number runs on forever. It’s important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse. That bungled goodbye hurts me to this day.”
-Life of Pi by Yann Martel
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