June 2012
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the silence
We talked about many things. We’d start off with each other’s plans for the day or what we did the night before. We would discuss current events, the weather, or the latest person to be booted off a reality show. And then on some days, usually Thursdays for some reason, we would talk about love. Have you ever talked to someone about love? Have you ever asked someone their view on the topic? Or...
May 2012
25 posts
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Run →
I’ll sing it one last time for you, then we really have to go You’ve been the only thing that’s right, in all I’ve done And I can barely look at you, but every single time I do I know we’ll make it anywhere, away from here Light up, light up, as if you have a choice Even if you cannot hear my voice I’ll be right beside you dear
To think I might not see those...
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me
I’ve been realizing many things lately and I’ve been changing inside. I’ve realized that I’m a very secretive person and that I fail to tell people things only so they don’t expect things from me. I’m selfish. I lack integrity and I hate owning up to my mistakes. I live in fear, fear of doing wrong, fear of people learning the truth, fear of loss. I’m quiet, I prefer to listen and observe rather...
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trash
I guess I was always looking to make a difference in someone’s life and once I knew I did, I gave up everything else. I waited so long for this that I let myself let go of my wants. Dreams don’t come true. Wishes are not always fulfilled. So once I got one of my hopes completed, I threw away everything else.
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“Tonight” - John Legend feat....
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today
Today I thought about our early days
when you were shy and I was lost
and when time didn’t seem to be slipping away
Today I thought about our early days
when friendship was all we had
and when to feel less would hurt
but to feel more was just as bad
Today I thought about our early days
how silly we seemed
to hide our truths like that
how foolish it was of me
to lie like that
...
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“Sometimes I have the strangest feeling about you. Especially when you are near...”
– Charlotte Brontë
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an excerpt
“Then his father died and America entered the war and he had to come too and here he was.
He lay and thought oh Joe Joe this is no place for you. This was no war for you. This thing wasn’t any of your business. What do you care about making the world safe for democracy? All you wanted to do Joe was to live. You were born and raised in the good healthy country of Colorado and you had...
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la la la
We lived in a la la land and it was beautiful. It was the prime example of a dark paradise. We made plans for things that would never happen and we both had dreams that surely wouldn’t come true. But still, we questioned that “what if?” And still, we smiled. We were smiling but close to tears. And we continued to do the same.
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“What we seek is some kind of compensation for what we put up with.”
– Haruki Murakami
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She didn’t say that love didn’t hurt. She said that love didn’t hurt like that.
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forget me not
And when he talked about her, he seemed to remember every single detail. He would remember the exact words she said in a conversation or how she wore her hair the first time they did something. His memory was impeccable yet I knew that this had to be painful for him at times.
“How do you remember everything so well?” I asked him one day on a crisp fall afternoon. I saw cars passing by...
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You know that feeling when you’re running so fast or have been running for so long that you can no longer feel your legs? That’s what it’s like.
Addiction has such a negative connotation so let’s just say that it’s that. Humans are indecisive creatures and we hate to change. We’re habitual—we wake up in the mornings, we go to school, we eat, we sleep, and...
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“My Dearest Allie. I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over...”
– The Notebook
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Take It All →
Didn’t I give it all, tried my best, gave you everything I had, everything and no less? Didn’t I do it right? Did I let you down? Maybe you got too used to, well, having me around Still how can you walk away, from all my tears? It’s gonna be an empty road, without me right here But go on and take it, take it all with you Don’t look back, at this crumbling fool Just take it...
April 2012
20 posts
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“Mr. Wrong” - Mary J. Blige feat....
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letters to crushes
I am happy and I can be happy and I have a right to be happy. There are days where my memories linger on moments that were uniquely ours and the jokes we shared and the letters which still remain in the lower right drawer of my desk but there they will stay. You are there. I am here and I am determined to be happy and not wondering if I deserve it. I love you, I think a part of me always will. But...
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desires
open my windows, let me feel the air
come close to me, instead of being there
I’ll follow you, and your silhouette
you’ll stay with me, you’ll let me forget
nobody will know, yet everyone will
we’ll be happy together, and time will stand still
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“Be you. Make sure you’re saying something when you’re saying...”
– Erykah Badu
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me
I believe it was March 22, 2011. I had just received my acceptance packet from Scripps and my rejection letter from USC but I had my interview for Cal State Fullerton’s Presidential Scholarship the same day. I wiped away the seemingly endless tears and left to fake a smile on my face and answer questions for an interview I was attending only to please my father. Somewhere near the end of the...
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only once in your life
“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When...
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appreciation
Looking back, I realize that the people who were the most significant in my life and the ones who impacted me the most were the ones who gave me more credit than I deserved. So here’s to them and here’s to hoping that you all know who you are. Thank you.
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I’m afraid of the day the light will leave my life only because I know how bright everything is right now.
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“After all, what is happiness? Love, they tell me. But love doesn’t bring and...”
– Paulo Coelho, The Witch of Portobello (via immortels)
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blood
Is it not strange that the ones we are closest to are the ones we never chose to be with? They’re people who love us the most, the ones for whom we would die for, yet at the end of the day, the reason we have them is merely because of a mysterious concept known as destiny. I know we take them for granted at times, but I still believe that with the love, togetherness, and sacrifice that they...
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april
I have reached that point in foolishness in which I plead for you to put your arms around my neck and remind me of all it is that I already have. Slap me, choke me, wake me up. Bring back the part of me that I used to love the most. I know you miss it and I’ve been too foolish to realize that I do too. If there’s ever a chance for you to show me the beauty of our reality, then I beg...
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the return
It’s terrible of me to say this but lately I’ve come across this feeling in which I miss the days when I had given up. I miss the days when I stopped caring and when I lost all hope. The days when nothing mattered and when I was certain that there was no room for improvement. The days when self-loathing had come to the point to which its only release was death. Missing a person...
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“As time goes on, you’ll understand. What lasts, lasts; what doesn’t, doesn’t....”
– Haruki Murakami
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“Come To Close To Me” - Common ft Mary...
March 2012
35 posts
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They say the happy don’t usually write. But I want you to know, that I am happy. And that I am trying.